Ayahuasca - a healing journey (part deux)

The visuals stopped once I had vomited,  a phenomena which, unfortunately, was to be be the norm with all my ayahuasca encounters.  I remained however quite “mariada” - a state of  intense and incapacitating drunkness and found myself unable to even go to the toilets by  myself when  the purging began.  Thank goodness, I was able to ask for help and someone lead me through the darkness (aya needs darkness) to the toilets, one of the longest walks ever!  

That first night, whilst lying a state of altered consciousness, as the visuals were eluding me, I realized however that I was a very negative person.  I had always thought that I was a positive person and couldn’t understand how my children ended up having such negative, self defeating attitudes.   The medecine made me realise that I was completely deluded and that, in reality,  I was extremely toxic and negative. Ouch!

When, at the end of the night, him indoors/the hobbit came to me, I said to him - don’t touch me,  I am contagious, I am so negative, I will contaminate you!   and I meant it!  It was a revelation.
From then on I decided that my intention during the retreat,  should be "help me to heal myself so I could heal others. " 

Before I go any further, I think I have to clarify a couple of points.  Ayahuasca is not everyone, it is VERY physically and emotionally challenging.  On the physical side, you have to be quite ready to vomit and have diarrhea all night long ( well most of the night) whilst being quite unable to function in this dimension.  On the emotional side, you have to be able to accept  seeing who you really are, demons and all!  There are reasons why it is called the Vine of the Dead, some of us - the Hobbit for one, thought he was going to die on a couple of occasions but I don't want to scare anyone, the experience can and is often a blissful, one of total love and of course there is the healing aspect! 
We had 5 ceremonies in all, accompanied by a dieta.  The dieta’s purpose is to help  the ayahuasca in its healing process and it comes in the form of  bark teas and some dietary restrictions, no physical contact and one day of total silence.  We were quite lucky being in altitude 3800 m, we had to have a more sustaining diet but I believe in the jungle camp, it is even more strict and is basically just yukka (not the most delicious veggie!).  The dietary restrictions extend in time with no alcohol or sex  of any  kind, masturbation included, no french kissing for a month, no pork, venison, or duck for 6 months as well as a whole list of no no’s before the drinking which incluse things like antihistamines, valium etc... The dieta IS ESSENTIAL for a proper experience and healing.  I would strongly discourage anyone, to just pop up to Iquitos and drink one cup with some dodgy shaman who is probably just a brujo (a witch and some can be quite nasty as can some shamans) and has only done a 2 years traing as opposed to the 10 years of a proper curandero.  
Ayahuasca is NOT a recreational drug, it is NOT a drug at all…She is a very powerful plant spirit,  a teacher plant you need to approach with respect and understanding  and for this, good guidance is needed.

Gumé

Roman

It is also important to shed our Western conditioning, AYAHUASCA IS MAGIC and yes there are all sorts of things that we have forgotten about magic or chose not to believe in, but the shaman knows the dangers.  This is why he supervises the ceremony, constantly singing icaros (songs of power) for 5/6 hours, healing, fighting forces of darkness, helping.  We were blessed to have two shamans, Gumé and Roman who worked together, on us and made all the difference.  If you want a mature healing experience, first do your research well, find a center and find out the curriculum vitae of the shaman(s), ask if they do the dieta. If you decide to go, don’t go blindly, you owe it to yourself to do this right. A lot of the centers are expensive which isn’t a guarantee of quality either…research research research…what are you looking for?  maybe you don’t want to be in the jungle because of mosquitoes etc, or you prefer female shamans or  you want some comfort or not…it is your call and you should be able to find something that answers your demands. I enjoyed being  in  a retreat because sharing   experiences was so valuable, and I did come back with some valued friends. I can’t imagine that it would either safe or pleasant to go back to your hotel room alone after drinking your aya with some fake shaman who’s in it for the $$$!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayahuasca

Next installement…The dark stuff, the healing and more!