On being afraid

A while back, I ruffled some feathers, as I do sometimes, on a  facebook group, and thus was told that I was afraid ... afraid of people...and silly me, I tried to justify myself as if being afraid was a "sin" or a moral lack!
I have since, meditated and cogitated on the matter and came to two conclusions.

One - no, I am not afraid.
And two - yes, I am afraid.

Here is what I have not been afraid of

I have not been afraid at 50 + to leave a comfortable house to live in a ruin and start a new life more in keeping with my theories.  And yes,  in the beginnings which lasted quite a while ( and some would argue weare still at the start of this adventure)  we had snow coming in the house because the windows and doors didn't close  and there were great big gapping holes in the roof.  As documented in an earlier blog, we did wake up at times to a rather invigorating 2°C in the bedroom.

I haven't been afraid to switch to composting toilets, or to choose permaculture to grow my own vegs, fruits.  Nor have I have been afraid to:  have chickens, bees, root the bins for materials,  bring my children to take ayahuasca and take it myself despite my advanced age ;-)

Not afraid to build a rocket stove and fail.

I am not afraid to love and be loved by a man younger than me or to be called a weirdo, a hippy, even sometimes by people I love.
Not afraid to go to confront abusers.
Neither am I afraid to dream and hope for a different world based on different values. Not afraid either, to live as artistically as I possibly can, instead of being a slave of a system I despise.

BUT...

It is true that I am afraid of people ...  people who are afraid to step out of line, people who are content ignoring the suffering of others, of the Earth, afraid of the bureaucrats, the apathetic, the hypocrites, the sheeple, the fake gurus, the instant spirituality merchants, the politically correct, the pedophile priests and  politicians, the venal healers.  I am afraid of those pickled in convention and bigotry, afraid of stupidity, afraid of dogma, afraid of the self-righteous, afraid of the obtuse, afraid of those who don't dream any more, of a better world.PS: And to be completely honest I am also very afraid of snakes, heights and bus journeys through the Andes.